Carson Lai Ho Yin

A Storm that Hits Hard

The thunderstorm hit the town hard. Equally stormy was the mind of a broken man, limping back to his shabby flat and waiting for his miracle with all he could afford – an inexpensive diamond ring. A piece of good news or a lift to the next stage of life would be a welcoming distraction of his otherwise tedious clerical life

He finally summoned his courage, knelt and lifted up the magical item, earnestly.

The ring failed to cast a spell.

Silence prevailed.

Lightning struck. With sorrow, he rose, putting the ring aside and going to fetch a cleaver.

Lightning struck again.

 

Student Writer
Carson Lai Ho Yin
La Salle College

Comments
This is a story that allows readers to fill the gaps – that’s the fun of being readers, isn’t it? While silence is the keyword contributing to the mood of the whole story, silence is also a gift in writing as our writer has wisely not said too much, leaving sufficient hints for readers to find out what was happening. Thunderstorm is an aptly chosen imagery – it links perfectly well with the inner struggle and the irrational impulse of the broken man. Carson’s work also shows the power of paragraphing. The long awkward silence and the sudden lightning help set the scene of a more sinister move.